(Birth) Father's Day Questions

Gabriel’s birthfather lives in Texas. I am sure of that. As a matter of fact, I have his full contact info, should I want to contact him. And something about holidays, especially Father’s Day, always brings up the subject of whether or not I should.

When we were placed with Gabriel, through foster care, he had two fathers on paper – a ‘legal’ father, the man his birth mother was married to at the time of his birth, and a ‘biological’ father – the man listed on the birth certificate. His legal father quickly relinquished his rights, but his birth father did not. The state contacted him directly through certified mail, ‘published’ for him and contacted his extended relatives, requesting he take a paternity test. But, no response from him.

The state moved their case forward, after 3 years of waiting for him to respond, and begun the process of terminating his rights. After all, there had been no word from this man in over three years.

Jeff and I got to court one spring morning, anxious for the judge to terminate his biological father’s rights *this* time – the last piece in the puzzle to Gabriel being legally free. When we arrived, our social worker greeted us.

“I have bad news,” she started. It seemed every time we talked to her those days that is how it went. “We heard from Gabriel’s biological father, and he completed the paternity test yesterday.”

“What were the results?” Jeff and I asked immediately – if it didn’t prove paternity, then we had nothing to fear.

“I don’t know, I don’t have the results yet, I just heard from the lab that he came to the appointment. But there is more bad news.”

6 Word Tribute to My Mom

"Always there when I need her."

I came across this amazing idea from One.org -- write a 6 word story about your mom, an idea that is credited to Ernest Hemingway.  It is said that when asked to write a short story, he replied "Baby Shoes.  For Sale.  Never Worn."  When I read that, my heart stung.  It really is possible to move someone with 6 words.

Official Book Release

I am so pleased to announce the release of my book, This is Gabriel Making Sense of School.

You can view and purchase it here:

http://www.amazon.com/This-Gabriel-Making-Sense-School/dp/1426927770/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268676748&sr=8-1

You can join the facebook group here:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=204826618923

And even better, for all of you out there who want ideas for sensory accommodations for your kiddo, I have designed a downloadable Sensory Accommodations Suggestions Page that you can download here:

http://www.hartleysboys.com/p/sensory-accommodation-suggestions_23.html

I am so excited to see this nearly 2-year long project become a reality. I believe that SPD will get into the DSM and that this book will be key in helping educate not just teachers, but the children our kids share their classrooms with.

Here is to all of you for reading our journey and your encouraging words through the process of publishing this book. A heartfelt thank you to everyone.

Now, please, spread the word!

This is Gabriel Making Sense of School is officially available!

H

FTF "A Jaw Dropping Experience" by Marla Roth-Fisch

Towards the end of summer in sunny Colorado, my entire family wanted to get one last outdoor swim in. My husband and I swam and played with the kids in the large pool, enjoying a game of keep away.

As my son jumped wildly with excitement to catch the water filled sponge ball, which almost careened our heads from the other team, (my husband and daughter), he accidentally elbowed me with a left jab to the right side of my face.

As I heard the crack in my jaw, I didn’t think much of it at the time, except that it hurt…a lot! I wanted to shrug it off as my son’s apologizes overflowed.

I hesitated to show the pain and tears for fear it would upset him even more, my son has Sensory Processing Disorder, and does really well, but at times his feelings of empathy and concern are over whelming for him.

“It’s an accident, I’ll be fine” I repeated several times, attempting to stretch my jaw from side to side.

Letting the aches and challenges of eating go on and on for months, as each day I thought it would get better, I finally surrendered to the fact that I need to get some help; perhaps there’s something really wrong?

The kids and I went for our routine dental check up and cleaning. After explaining why I couldn’t hold my mouth open as wide as they would have liked, my dentist recommended that I visit with my orthodontist first about the jaw, then perhaps see a specialist.

I scheduled an appointment with the orthodontist, and had extensive x-rays taken; a cool kind of X-ray that circles your entire head giving a panoramic view of your jaw.

From what they saw, there was no “visible” crack in my jaw. Big time relief! Prior to leaving he adjusted my retainer so that the muscles of the jaw would relax, and fall into place. Ah…pretty easy fix, I thought, just have to wear a big bulky upper retainer 24/7 for the next couple of weeks.

As the weeks passed, I felt better but still as I opened my mouth it veered to the right, the bite was off and caused me to frequently bite my lip…not a pretty sight.

I will preface this by saying that I am a firm believer in both acupuncture and chiropractic work when done by a trusting and experienced professional: Next I was off to the chiropractor.

After an in depth consultation and some minor tweaking of my body, the chiropractor said that I have a dislocated jaw, and we need to work on it for some time…Yikes, what is ‘some time’? Did I have the time, could I make the time? Who has time?

Throwing in the towel about now sounded good; I’ll live with the pain.

Knowing that this treatment can make me better, I opted to continue. Thank goodness for insurance and the little positive voice in my head!

So, I scheduled several appointments at a local holistic healing center for adjusting the jaw back into its proper spot.

The treatment at times was definitely painful, however, using relaxing techniques, heat, cold, massage, the adjustments and Advil, I got through.

While in the waiting area of Whole Health Center, I noticed that there was a brochure on the treatment called Facial Rejuvenation. Hmmm…After all these months of pain, I could really use a “lift” in my face, and tackling the fine lines and wrinkles could be a bonus!

I started seeing my acupuncturist for the muscles surrounding the jaw. The chi (energy) and blood had stagnated contributing to the discomfort, getting needles stuck in my face was a welcome relief, if you can believe that!

Feeling much better, yawning with ease, more relaxed around my family, and realizing that if you don’t take care of yourself, there is no way you can be the best mom and wife to your family.
If you are on top of your game, everyone is a winner!

Marla Roth-Fisch, award winning author and illustrator of Sensitive Sam

Vacation Rewind

I don't have an extensive amount of time to type, but I thought some of you might like to see the visual schedule I put together for our trip. It is pretty basic, but it will get us there.

I will give each child a printed off (disposable) version, with their name on it, and a marker to help them "check off" each step as we go. They can carry it with them and refer to it at will. I like doing it this way instead of the Velcro laminated version because during a flight/trip it is hard to not lose things--and when you do lose something, there are too many places to look for it. : )

Gabriel can't believe there are 24 steps to get there--me neither. *sigh*

In case you are looking for things to read while I am gone (I don't want you to go through withdrawals!), you can check out the blog series I did on our trip to San Diego last year.

Here it is:

The plane ride to San Diego (starring Matthew out-of-sync, Gabriel impatient, and me NOT killing a flight attendant).

Our zoo goes to the zoo (our group heading to the SD zoo).

Sea World (all of us petting sharks).

A day to take it easy (the San Diego Children's museum and more).

The final leg of the journey (Legoland).

The Beach (the last day at the beach, the trip home, and thoughts on my apt to get Gabe's official "ASD" diagnosis last year).

So, until I am back with more crazy sensory-induced antics to share, keep yourselves warm and I will be drinking a toast to you by 10am Friday!

Adios Amigos,

H

Blog With 7 Senses

As most of you know, I have been working diligently on a children's picture book, This is Gabriel Making Sense of School (due out Spring 2010) that focuses on children with Sensory Processing Disorder succeeding at school.

This subject is very near and dear to my heart.

Not only does Gabriel have SPD, but he still struggles at school needing movement breaks, heavy work and generally keeping his body regulated.

The first step in this process, as everyone out there with a SPD kiddo knows, is educating the school on SPD.

Although I keep reading good things from the SPD Foundation about the chances of getting SPD acknowledged in the DSM (the diagnostic manual that doctors, insurance companies and school districts base benefits off of), my kid is struggling today, and I can't put off getting him help until the medical world gets on board.

The first thing I struggle with when teaching anyone about Sensory Processing Disorder is the simple fact that there are SEVEN SENSORY SYSTEMS.

Not. Five. Nope. There are 7. SE-VEN.

Let's recap:

Sight -- Your eyes help you see

Hearing -- Your ears help you hear sound

Touch -- Your skin and fingers help you feel things around you

Taste -- Your tongue and mouth help you determine taste and texture

Smell -- Your nose helps you smell which is closely connected to your taste system

Vestibular -- located in your inner ear, it is the basis for balance and understanding where your body is in relation to its surroundings

Proprioception -- located in the muscles and joints and controls how much pressures is used (pushing and pulling)

I am guessing many of you knew this--but shockingly most teachers don't! I have pushed this so hard with Gabriel, that every year he starts up the debate with his teacher to prove that there are seven. That's my boy already starting to advocate for himself!

So I am starting a crusade to educate the entire WORLD that we have 7 senses.

Will you help me? Com' on -- Who's with me?

Grab the button I created up there on the left hand side of my blog and put it on your blog. Then encourage your readers to do the same.

Soon we will have dominance throughout the blogging community and will succeed in changing the face of the world.

OK, I'm getting a little carried away...

But, I sure can hope that spreading the word that there are 7 senses will help with the basics. Right? Like when you walk into your child's teacher the first day, you can skip the part where you have to explain, repeatedly, that there are seven senses....

Don't worry, you're not going to have to educate the masses empty handed for long. When my book comes out it will help you educate your child's teachers, peers and others not only about what is going on with your child, but also how they can help; including the fact that there are 7 senses.

So grab the button now!

When you take the button--leave a comment that you are doing so. It will encourage others to do the same, and then I can come to your blog and visit it. :) Like my little babies leaving the nest.

Now chant with me:

Se-ven Sen-ses, Se-ven Sen-ses, Se-ven Sen-ses!
H

INSTRUCTIONS in case you don't already know...for Blogger only...

1. See the code under the button? Click in that box and select all, you can do this by simply pressing Ctrl A. Then copy it by using Ctrl C (or you can use the right click on your mouse to do both operations).

2. Go to your blog dashboard and click "Layout".

3. Under Layout, click on "Add a Gadget"

4. Select HTML/Java Code

5. Paste the code from my blog, into that window with the right mouse function or Ctrl V

6. Give it a title like, "Hey there are seven senses!"

7. Click save

8. Click "View Blog"

9. Da Da! There it is!