Intuition

There is much said about a mother’s intuition, and perhaps even more said about it in the special needs community.

You know what I am referring to – everyone who says “Follow your gut” or “I just had a feeling”. Right?

Absolutely.

There is something innate about being a mom, about having a child you are connected to in a way that allows you to know when something isn’t right or when your child needs you. It is why I would leak breast milk every time Nick cried. Even when I wasn’t there. I just knew.

Or how I could feel from the time Matt was just months old that there was something...different...about him.  And LONG before I ever breathed the word "Autism" to anyone - even about Gabriel - I knew Matt had Aspergers.  I just knew it.

And I hear the same thing from moms and dads everywhere I go.  Perhaps they are told to ignore their intuition - because the doctor thinks they are just 'new mothers' or their child is 'just spirited', but we as parents know. We just know.

But what about for our kids? Do we encourage them to trust their intuition? Their ‘little voice’ inside telling them what is a good idea and what isn’t?

Foxes and Pedophiles

Matt got his official diagnosis this October. Mild Asperger’s and Very Superior Intelligence.

Just what we expected.

I am so incredibly hopeful that these labels will help Matthew in school. And so far, his teachers have been great. But during our October conference, it was obvious to me that Matthew requires a great deal of support during class time from his teachers. In a classroom with 6 students and two full time teachers, he is succeeding. But what about Kindergarten?

Yes, I am worrying about Kindergarten 10 months ahead of time. That’s how I roll.

Why am I worried? I am afraid of Foxes and Pedophiles. Let me explain.

When Gabriel started first grade, the first time, at our public elementary school I wasn’t too worried. We had been rezoned into a brand new school, so I joined the PTA Board of Directors as the Vice President of Fundraising, and got a sneak peek into the school before it opened, and more importantly, the opportunity to know the principal and staff. I was comforted by this. I felt sure that when Gabe started school, they would be on board with helping him.  And they were.

Turns out the school wasn’t the problem. It was Gabe’s classmates’ parents that were the problem.

I have written about Gabriel’s first grade meltdown before; he was accused of ‘breaking a class rule’ (touching the stapler on the teacher’s desk) by his teacher in front of his peers standing at his locker after class let out. Cornered and embarrassed, Gabriel lied and said he didn’t do it. She insisted he did it. Gabe exploded, yelled and scratched her forearm. Then, hid in his locker. I was called, and with Matt in a stroller and Nick on my hip, I went rushing to school to get him. He was upset, but I would be too with 4 adults standing over me. I took him home, and he calmed down.

The point is what happened after that incident.

Six women, parents of students in Gabriel’s class started pushing our principal to have Gabriel removed from class because he was a ‘danger’ and put in the enclosed classroom.

During a private meeting that I got wind of through other PTA board members, and then of course CRASHED, these six women sat with the principal and went down a laundry list of things they thought needed to be changed at the school. The list was long and centered around safety.

You Know You're Teaching an SPD Kiddo When . . .

I still get comments on the "You Know When..." lists of mine, so I thought I would post one for the teachers out there--

All of those men and women who have spent the last few weeks getting to know our darling kiddos as students in their class.

You Know You're Teaching an SPD Kiddo When...(a list for teachers and all of us who watch our kids struggle in school)

1. He chews his pencil, both the eraser and the lead, all day long.

2. He can’t seem to stay seated for over 30 seconds.

3. He constantly wants to get a “drink” but really he is just playing in the sink.

4. During circle time he sits virtually on top of the kid next to him.

5. You have to remind him that he cannot touch the hair of the girl next to him—no matter how cool it looks.

6. You implement Handwriting Without Tears program the first day — because you can’t read anything he writes.

7. He wears the same pair of Soft sweatpants (made to look like jeans) every single day.

8. He is the only one in class standing at his desk.

9. He BLURTS out the answers to every question, and talks all through story time.

10. At recess he climbs on the very TIP TOP of the jungle gym, where he is NOT allow.

11. He spends more time under the table than sitting at it.

12. He lit up when he saw the ball pit in the resource room.

13. He refuses to eat in the cafeteria on “Sloppy Joe Day” because it smells awful.

14. The collar, the sleeves, and a strange place directly in the center of his shirt are all dripping with spit from being chewed on all day.

15. Everyone around him gets a HUGE bear hug, whether they like it or not.