Music Lessons

Do your kids love music?

Mine sure do.

It was probably 4 years ago now, and I was driving out of our subdivision with all three boys in the van – Gabe was in Kindergarten, which makes Nick 2 1/2 at the time and Matt around 6 months. From out of the back I hear the boys talking about playing musical instruments.

“Mom,” Nick starts, “Can I have a drum set?"

I grin, “Maybe someday.”

“Can I have a Tuba?” Gabe interjects.

“No.” I laugh out loud at the image of my son, much smaller than a Tuba, attempting to play it.

But, that planted the musical seed for all of us.

Flash forward four years, and I am contemplating putting Nick and Gabe in Piano lessons. Why Piano? Because it seems that might be the most convenient to actually attend. And, Nick tried Drum lessons at three different locations, but he was just too young at the time. Not to mention, I don’t want a drum set in the house, but could live with a keyboard. I bet you’re shocked that I am not interested in a drum set, huh?

My husband is very musical – or at least what he might lack in ability is greatly made up for by enthusiasm. Although he isn’t belting out original songs, he enjoys playing the guitar (he began teaching himself about two years ago and he has gotten pretty good), and played the drums for 10 years during his school days. It is fair to say that Jeff is a music lover. And it is guaranteed that if my husband is home, there is music playing.

I, on the other hand, am against any added sound in the house during the day, so the enjoyment of music tends to be mostly had on weekends, and mostly in the backyard.  Which is kind of a bummer.

It Will Get Better

Before I ever got a diagnosis of any sort for my son Gabriel, I think everyone I knew had told me some version of the line, “It will get better”. I knew they all meant well, but I wasn’t dealing with your run-of-the-mill toddler tantrums with Gabe. Not even close. My son had meltdowns. Big, long, scary and excruciatingly loud, meltdowns. Gabe would cry for hours on end, for no apparent reason and crashed into walls for fun; this wasn’t typical development in my book, and I couldn’t understand why people were so quick to dismiss it with any of the old standbys (“He’s just a boy” or “He’ll grow out of it” or the non-committal, “It will get better”). How could people think that it would just get better? I wanted to believe them, I really wanted to, but I had lived with the ‘out of sync’ behavior for years, with no sign of it letting up, so I wasn’t convinced that my son would just magically ‘get better’ one day.

When Gabriel’s diagnosis came in at age 4 as Sensory Processing Disorder, I was so relieved that I finally knew what was going on, that I steamed forward – full speed – through OT and implementing a sensory diet at home and school without so much as taking a breath. If that was what my son needed then that was what I would do for him. After all, this is what would finally make things ‘get better’, right?

But you know what? It wasn’t easy and it didn’t just ‘get better’ as quickly as I was hoping. I was tired of being told by family, friends and therapists that things would ‘get better’. Did these people really understand what I went through every single day? Did they understand how upset my son was over the smallest things? How hard school was for him? How hard having play dates was? How difficult it appeared for him to enjoy the simplest pleasures of being a child? If things were really going to get better, could they PLEASE hurry?

Sensational Links

My new "Sensational Links" post series is inspired by the blog No Hands But Ours, where they list the best articles the special needs adoption blogosphere has to offer each week.  What a genius idea.  So, logically, I am copying it.

Each week, hopefully, I am going to collect the best from the SPD Blogging Community and leave it here for you to check out.  Cool, huh?  If I don't follow your blog, but you think you have something that would be perfect for this, please feel free to email me the link.

Enjoy!

Sensational Links for 8/13/10
(odd that we are staring on Friday the 13th...)

Second Fiddle, from SPD mom Caitlin Wray at Welcome to Normal:  A great post about how her high needs child (Me First) always takes priority over her toddler (Me Too), with tips to help you focus on your Me Too kids.

Car Wash, from SPD mom Martianne Stranger at Training Happy Hearts:  How to turn washing your car into a multi-sensory activity for the whole family.

Now There are Two, from SPD mom (x2) Chynna Laird at The Gift Blog: Getting the SPD diagnosis for her second child.

Road Tripping Adventures, from SPD mom Patty O. at Pancakes Gone Awry:   Her hysterical account of her family's regular 3 hour road trip to thearpy - including a horrifically long tram ride.

These Dreams, from SPD mom Alysia Butler at Defying Gravity: When her dream shows her how hard life could be, she is reminded to stay in the moment with her son.