Stronger...

I got this amazing card the other day from a good friend of mine who has been there for me through most everything these last few years and I thought that many of you would like it - so here's to Hallmark and to the amazing Linda Barnes who came up with these words...

They say 

what doesn't kill you

makes you stronger.

Well, what if 

you didn't sign up

for extra-strength training?

What if you'd rather 

catch a few breaks

once in awhile?

Is that so much to ask?

At some point, you'd think

you'd be entitled

to a free pass or two:

Skip this challenge.

Avoid that crisis.

Delete those problems.

It's not that you're not strong

or that you don't have what it takes 

to get through this.

You are, you do, and you will.

But you've built enough character

already, and it's time 

for things to lighten up a little!

I know it is not really my call,

but if I were in charge

of life's wheel of fortune,

you'd get a free spin.

And I'd be right there,

cheering you on!

And if I were in charge, I would give each and EVERYONE of you a free spin too.  You all deserve it!

With a special dedication to Alysia at Try Defying Gravity.

Also sending a big THANK YOU to everyone who has not just commented here and on Facebook with messages of support, but also for each of you who emailed me personally with your stories of understanding, I truly appreciate it all. 

H

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

I’ll be honest, this is probably the first thing in my life I have written and didn’t know where to start - or end. So, I figure, go with what you know – be honest, straightforward, and do your best to find the humor. Here goes.

I’m getting divorced.

Yeah, not a real shock if you think about it. Three kids – two with special needs – one with perhaps more significant special needs, and the third? Arguably special needs – what with attention and sensory issues plus giftedness. Yeah. That’s easy on a marriage.

I know what you are thinking: But Hartley, you seemed so happy!

Ok, but it wasn't like I was going to write about all of the bad things going on.  Not the focus I want my blog - nor my life - to have.  Now this is where you ask, Why are you getting divorced?

The simple answer is: We want different things.

What those things are *exactly* is probably a gray area, but sufficed to say, we are no longer living together. And won’t be again. Unless fate is evil and cruel. Then, perhaps it will happen. But my money is on NO.  Yours should be too.  And if you don't believe me, Nick has read the kid's "My Family is Changing" book I bought enough times that he can recite the passage on "Divorce is usually forever" to you if that helps.

I don’t want any of you to worry about me. I know some of you will, and support is always appreciated (I am clear on my need for that!), but I also want you to know that I am a veteran at going through the grieving process. VET-RAN.  "Been there, done that", is an extreme understatement.

I’ll do this. And do it well.

So for the time being, consider HLW3B open for business! I’ll need the outlet, and you’ll need the laughs (and it won’t be bitter crazy-divorced girl ramblings all of the time).

So hang tight friends – we are in for a bumpy ride!

Oh, and in the mean time if you’d like to donate to my legal fees or set me up with a hot-man-who-loves-special-needs-kids-and-doing-laundry then send me an email! :)

Two steps forward, one step back. Right?

H

12 Ways to be a Better Parent

Did you see me over at the SPD Blogger Network giving my simple - but so often forgot - ideas for how to actually be a better parent?  And by 'better' I mean your children will like you more!  Stop by and leave me a comment! :)

Enjoy your weekend!

Hartley