School Starts Successfully!

I can't believe it is finally here.  We finally started school.  All three of them.  And aside from the total logistical nightmare of transporting three kids to three different schools, not to mention the picking them up and being home in time to get the bus chaos, we made it.  We made it!

Gabriel

This is the first year in the history of being Gabe's mom that I am not stressed.  Thank god.  School is just one of those things, that every year, no matter how well laid the plans are, we seem to get off track.  Not this year.  As you all know, Gabriel is at a private therapeutic day school that caters to children of various abilities.  Which means that this year, I don't have to worry about accommodations or IEPs.  I can worry about other things (ha!), like anger management, frustration tolerance, and social skills.  And know that this school, is teaching those things too.  Yay!

Gabe came home the first day covered in something green -- all over his shirt sleeves and up onto his chest.  His nails were caked in something white like clay, and he was grinning ear to ear.  Why?  It was a sience experiment about making the color green.  Then, he quickly announced that he was taking Baking Class!  But, just so you know, they don't start cooking until next week.  I mean, after all, this is the first week of school. 

I also got Gabe back into private speech therapy -- definitely a draw back of his private school is no therapy offerings.  His private speech therapist, (shameless plug), Liz Chapdelaine is amazing.  I can't wait to get him going with some heavy duty speech again. 

Navigating Difficult IEP Meetings Successfully, Interview with author Jeff Cohen

While looking for an expert to speak with about IEP Meetings, I happened upon the book Guns A’Blazing: How Parents of Children on the Autism Spectrum and Schools Can Work Together – Without a Shot Being Fired, by Jeffrey Cohen. I immediately liked the title, because most families I talk with do attend meetings with their ‘guns’ (at least in their holster) – and few are able to actually leave them at home.

So I looked up the author, Jeffrey Cohen, to learn a little more about him, and here’s what his Amazon page said, “Jeffrey Cohen started life as poor street urchin, orphaned and taken in by a gang of pickpockets led by an older man named Fagin. No, wait. That's someone else, entirely.”

And I laughed out loud. Really hard. Which was just refreshing, because you know what, this parenting a special needs kid is HARD – and you all know my motto: If you can’t laugh at my life, you have no sense of humor.

1001 Great Ideas -- Interview & Giveaway with Ellen Notbohm

During the first week of school last year, Nick’s Kindergarten teacher walked up to me, and almost under her breath like we were about to share a secret she said, “Do you know of any good books on how to teach a child with Autism?”

And sheepishly I said, “No.” Quickly followed by, “Not off the top of my head, but let me look into it.”

I was disappointed that I didn’t have a go-to book to recommend. I should have immediately known what to suggest to her – something that would be succinct, easy to understand, quick to read, effortless to implement and even more important – well organized so that she could go back week after week and year after year to look up what she needed.

Well, it took me all school year, but I finally found my go-to book: 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching & Raising Children with Autism or Aspergers by Ellen Notbohm and Veronica Zysk – Not to mention a foreword by Temple Grandin, PhD who says the book is “Genuine, commonsense advice that all parents and educators can quickly and easily use!”

And who argues with Temple Grandin? Surely not me.

I asked Ellen Notbohm, who has also authored 10 Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew, 10 Things Your Student With Autism Wishes You Knew and The Autism Trail Guide: Postcards from the Road Less Traveled, if she was available for an interview, and I was thrilled to have her say yes. I mean, really, this is a woman who has 1800 great ideas on how to help my kids – this rates right up there with a new handbag and a kid-free vacation for me!

Now, normally I’d say you should take notes, but with 1800 ideas jam packed into this book, Ellen can’t possibly rattle them all off here (no, really, she can’t). But, good news:  Future Horizons has offered to give away a copy of her book! Look for details on how to win at the bottom of this post – or if you aren’t that patient (like me), hop on over to Future Horizons and buy your own copy now.

Either way, you are in for a treat!

Interview with Haley Moss, Author and Teenager with High Functioning Autism

When I see young kids with Autism or Asperger’s advocating for themselves, I get a sudden rush of excitement, followed quickly by an intense feeling of pride.

Although my children are not writing books, or getting interviewed by CNN, I do envision them some day being strong enough to tell their story, to share their experiences and to make a difference for the next generation of kids.

So, when I saw the new book, Middle School: The Stuff Nobody Tells You About, by 16 year old Haley Moss, I wanted to hear her story.

Turns out this young woman is nothing short of amazing.

She has not only become an author while still in high school, but is an incredible artist (she created all of the artwork for the book, including the cover). She is creative, has a great memory, can write poetry and says that she looks only at the positives of her Autism. Her mother told her about Autism by likening her ‘special talents’ to those of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter. And given Haley’s success, I’d say that the metaphor of her skills being ‘magical’ is fitting.

Haley comes across as a typical teenager, and even sounded like one during her CNN interview last April, when asked how her friends were taking her success, she responded with modest teenage charm, “Everyone is keeping it on the down low.”

Thankfully, she is here today to talk about her book which is aimed at explaining middle school to kids with autism, and their parents; from how to get through the classes, making friends, decoding texting acronyms and maybe most importantly (to me!), she even explains new slang, like “Down Low.”

So, if you have a child in middle school, entering middle school, or maybe you are like me and are already anticipating middle school with a certain sense of dread regardless of how far away it is; this is for you! Oh, and did I mention she is giving away a copy of her book? Oh, yes she is!

IMHO, U R in for a treat, and IIRC, many of U have kids the same age as Haley, so don’t say you’ll BRB, stay, read the interview and LOL with us! (Translation at the bottom of the page!)

School and Summer Planning

As this school year is ending for all three of my kids, it means I have to do a lot of planning on my part – planning for next year, planning for summer – and as it turns out, I don’t have a crystal ball, so it is proving to be a little challenging. Just a little.  But, I do have a plan.  Don't you always have a plan?  That is SO part of being the mom, huh?

Since I have all of this on my mind, what I am doing, what I am planning, I thought I would share with you all -- because I have a suspicion that you are doing the same thing!  Let me break it down for you:

Matthew (Preschool)

Matthew finishes his first year of developmental preschool (technically half a year since he started in December), and any fears I had last fall about him progressing past his IEP and being kicked out of Developmental Preschool have been squished. Matt is not neurotypical. He is definitely marching to the beat of his own drum, and I suspect more and more that he has Aspergers, which I may look into having diagnosed this summer.

Swimming Towards Summer

Many children love swimming. Mine are no exception.

Gabriel, since he is a true seeker, has loved water since before he could even say ‘water’. He spent hours in the backyard sprinkler, kiddie pool, hot tubs, bath tub, and shower and in every way he could, he attempted to become one with the water.

It came the time, that our schedule would allow (finally therapy appointments have slowed, and flexibility has increased, and Matthew has grown up – a little) for him and Nick to take swimming lessons. Matt too, but he had a cast at the time I signed them up, so we skipped his lessons (but I have signed him up for next session during the week while his brothers are at school, which promises to provide me with a plethora of blogging material).

We signed the boys up at the YMCA, through a regular group class, and off we went.

Today was the last in a six week series.

Yet the first I attended.

Why?

Because no matter how ‘grown up’ Matthew is at this point, he is still a true pain in the ass to take anywhere he has to wait and can’t follow his own agenda.

But Jeff is in China – or Korea – or maybe Japan now. Wherever he is, it isn’t here.

I prep Matthew with a numbered list of what steps come when (visual schedule), and make the plan for him to watch his brothers with ‘expected behavior’ before we return home. I can’t put Matt in the YMCA child care center because he has been kicked out so many times, it isn’t worth it. For either of us. So he comes with me.

He didn’t do too badly. And yet, he didn’t do so hot either.

Aside from throwing Rusty (from the Thomas series) into the pool – which Gabriel grabbed and tossed back – and then pinching my face, followed by slapping me across the face – he was an angel.

Is it bad form to scream at your kid and throw him in the pool at the Y (it was the shallow end, don’t be too scared)? Yeah, I thought so.

Instead of throwing him in the pool for pinching and slapping me, I gave him joint compressions, and squeezed him a bunch, and took the brunt of his ‘zerberts’ against my face (his ridiculous sensory seeking behavior that escalates as he does which makes me on the verge of a sensory meltdown of my own).

In the mean time, between Rusty's near drowning and surviving blows to my face (and ego), I watched the boys swim.

I was surprised to see that Gabriel’s motor planning issues are still as prevalent as they have been in the past.

Yes, they are considerably better than when we started OT nearly 5 years ago. But, still he had trouble.

He loves to swim, and just beams while he is in the water so it wasn’t as if other people would notice the trouble he had, but I did. I am hyper vigilant like that.

Gabriel takes everything so literal – ‘put your face in the water’, the instructor says, for a belly float. But Gabriel literally just puts his face in the water, not past his eyebrows – he doesn’t hold his head even with his body, as the instructor intended. He is my literal thinker for sure! But the teacher doesn’t notice this the same way I do. Which is just fine for YMCA swim lessons.

Nick won’t put his face in the water – tactile defensiveness – he HATES the feeling of water in his eyes, or god forbid, in his ears. That is a battle even in the shower. But he too did well.

Actually, they both love the water, but have no true swimming form.

My favorite part of the experience was being in the women's locker room (never mind the dirty looks over having my three boys in there) and watching a woman walk in with her two daughters.

The youngest girl, probably 4-5, immediately pinched her nose shut and began, "It stinks in here; let's leave!" Her mother acknowledged it and began moving quicker -- meltdown coming? Hmmmm.

Once their things were picked up, she handed the girl a sticky-wiggly-jelly-like substance in the shape of a large tarantula. Hmmmm. Fidget toy?

It is always reassuring to me that us SPD moms are everywhere. EVERYwhere. And I still have to genuinely hold back from yelling, "HEY! Does your kid have SPD! Awesome! So does mine!" Not everyone is as excited about SPD as I am.

The boys aren’t enrolled in swimming for next session because we are doing Flag Football.

Nick’s FAVORITE thing ever, he has done it for the last two seasons, and now Gabriel has decided to play.

I am a little leery about it – team sport, comparison to his peers, etc – but this is definitely something he is ready for in his own mind, and I truly think sometimes (at least as he gets older) he is the definitive decision maker on whether or not he can do something – he won’t let his acronyms define him.

And he has practiced a great deal with Nick, and had the opportunity to observe for two seasons. Both of those will probably help considerably!

They start Football on April 10th. I’ll keep their ‘stats’ here on my blog for all to see.

Spring Football season will take us to summer when Gabriel will be attending summer school – for sure – probably at the private school we are checking out over spring break.

I think he will be going there for summer school, even though we haven’t officially tried it yet, because I got Adoption Support to pay the cost of it ($1800).

Do you know what Adoption Support is?

If not, here is my plug for adopting from Foster Care (or at least one benefit):

When you adopt through foster care, your child can qualify for Adoption Support – which is financial help for the child through his/her lifetime in the way of services related to their special needs.

In Washington part of the criteria for qualifying is that the child has to be a minority, part of a sibling group, or have special needs (or all of the above in Gabriel’s case) to qualify, but when you do qualify (all negotiated by you -- attorneys are not normally used), you get medical coverage, and in some cases, can apply for and receive additional support.

I asked Adoption Support for help with care for Gabriel over the summer (last summer was AWFUL and I don't want to have a suicidal child on my hands again), and after they turned me down, I was able to give them more information and get the care covered. I literally cried when they told me we’d get the support.

Helping to keep Gabriel stabilized through summer is A TRUE GIFT for our entire family, not just Gabriel. But when I told Gabe that he would FOR SURE get to go to summer school (this is NOT camp), he jumped up and down in my office and shouted with delight, "Woo Hoo! Yes!" Complete with a fist pump.

So, as you might guess, I am excited about this school even if just for summer.

Hope you all are finding the sun, and maybe even getting to take a uncoordinated dip in the pool!

H