Going to the Dentist

One of the things I try to do during the summer, when the kids don’t have their school schedule to contend with, is to catch up on non-emergent appointments like the dentist.

I will be honest here; Matt hasn’t ever been to the dentist for his own appointment. Now, he has gone with his brothers and sat in the chair (more like ran around the office like a nutcase) and has even had an appointment made for him, but he hasn’t actually gone. My bad.

One of my many goals this summer is to get Matthew to the dentist and get his teeth checked.

And I am nervous as all get out at just the thought of it.

Having a child with sensory issues, control issues (agenda issues?) and who generally doesn’t like doctors (a new concept rooted in his broken arm trauma, although he had a successful check up at our new pediatrician two weeks ago) means that I have to be creative – at a minimum.

Here are some ideas that I am going to use, that I have used for Gabe and Nick, or that my friends have used. Maybe one will work for your tooth-brush avoider?

1. Take a tour: Take your child into check out the dentist office before their appointment. Make it all what they want to do – do they want to look at the water pick? Do they want to sit in the chair? Let them explore. You can even schedule extra appointments, and go a few extra times just for exploring and practicing – desensitize them to the office environment.

The Lesson of Proprioception

I often look back on my older posts to see what I was doing last year. I am especially looking for help this time of year when the It's-Almost-Summer-Crazy has a hold of my kids and can't seem to let them go -- they act like I put them in the washing machine on spin cycle. Not that they wouldn't love that, but . . .

How do you solve this? The answer for us is always more propriocpetion.

If the boys won't sleep, or can't sit still at the dinner table (or stand in one spot as the case may be), or are so squirrely in the mornings that we are late to school every day for the last week (was that just us?!), I have to go back to basics: Proprioception.

So, as I was thinking this, and reading old blog posts, I came across this one, and I wanted to share!  It was written the end of May last year, just a day before Gabe's 8th birthday -- so it seemed fitting that the photo here is of Gabe's 9th birthday -- just two weeks ago.

I hope it helps calm your last days of school (or first days of summer!). 

H

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Let them Deliver Pickles

My friend made an analogy using the "Dog Whisperer" today at lunch. It sparked my own reference to a "Cesar Milan" episode I saw the other day. He was putting a dog backpack on this Pit Mix (which I feel my kid sure can act like sometimes) and the only thing he had to fill it with was pickles.

Cesar says, and I am paraphrasing, "When you put the backpack on the dog it gives him a job. He is clearly more focused, because now he isn't just walking, he is delivering the pickles."

But we'll get to how that ties into my day in just a second.

Changes in Attitude

I have a friend that is struggling right now.  Struggling like we all do from time to time.  A crisis of life -- of where we are going, of why we are on the path we are on, of how to find balance.  It is a deep thing to deal with. 

That said, I also find that as special needs parents these types of personal struggles are usually a sign of growth.  Personal growth that says, "Wait.  What about me?  Is this the way I want my life to go?"  And sometimes, we need to hit 'refresh' on our brains. 

Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, it is our perspectives that need changing more than our lives.  It is one of those "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater" things.  Don't decide you need a new job, or a new husband, or a new house -- when what you might need is less of a physical change and more of a mental one.

And I thought, why not share that with all of my 'friends'?  Who knows what you all are going through -- but someone might just need this advice right now.

So, here is the letter (modified slightly) that I wrote one of my best girlfriends -- one that has special kiddos just like us. 

__________________

Unsolicited advice – because I care.

Here is what works for me when I am feeling like things are out of control, disproportionate or that my marriage is bound to buckle under our current stress:

Just Be Mom (Or Dad)

Just because your child is challenging, doesn’t mean that you aren’t still his parent. Spend the weekend with your case-manager, social-worker, education-consultant, medical-scheduler, worry-wart, and future-predictor hats on a shelf, and just be your child’s parent for the day. Reconnecting with the parts of our kids that are the most fun, special, and awe-inspiring often gets left off the never-ending to do list in the hustle of the day to day management of all of their needs – choose this weekend to honor who they really are and let them be kids!

Here are my straightforward and simple parenting reminders – nothing new here folks! – just trying to get you in the right mind set for a weekend spent enjoying your child!

Please add your favorite kid-centric weekend activity in the comments below!

1. Let them eat dessert

2. Play an old fashioned board game

3. Teach them something you loved as a kid

4. Bake cookies

5. Laugh about when they were a baby

6. Make a mud puddle

7. Play the, “Remember when … “ game

8. Recall favorite vacations

9. Just listen

10. Read together

11. Remember to SMILE when your child walks in the room – they need to know you missed them

12. Lead with the positive

13. Go through old photos

14. Be playful – every moment doesn’t have to be a teaching moment

15. Skip rocks – or just throw them in the lake!

16. Allow your child a mental health day; they have as much stress as we do

17. Play dress up – YOU TOO!

18. Compliment them

19. Remind them of their of past successes

20. Watch a movie

21. Go bowling

22. Talk about your hopes for the future

23. Let them pick what to make for dinner

24. Make ice cream sundaes

25. Reward them for just being themselves

Hope you have sun like we do in Seattle!
H

Photo: Nick being silly in Victoria at the totem pole park. He cracks me up!