1. You have a collection of twisty straws that should be sold to a toy museum (even though they still have applesauce stuck in them)
2. You
still buy Velcro shoes for your 8 year old because he has to continually tighten his shoes all day and doesn’t have the small motor skills to tie them
3. You go through a new toothbrush every week not because they are being used to brush teeth, but because they are used as a chew toy (instead of the real chew toys you have spent hundreds on!)
4. You know that OT doesn’t mean Over Time
5. You have lists of new therapies you want to try, but no extra time, energy or money to actually do them
6. You know what a “no thank you bite” is
7. You are constantly reminding your kid through gritted teeth at the grocery store to “keep your hands in your pockets!" but he still touches
everything8. You have researched every school within driving distance of your home (and some too far away to realistically be considered) in an attempt to avoid having to shove your “square peg” kid into the “round hole” of public schooling
9. You’ve considered homeschooling – and maybe even attempted it
10. You are an expert at finding seams in clothing
11. Your child refuses to wear a coat – even though it is below freezing outside -- but you are OK with it
12. You have attempted to explain the definition of proprioception to at least ten family members, all of which
still don’t get it
13. Your child doesn’t eat sitting down; no, he has to stand, dance, jump, spin and bounce during dinner – and you’ve learned to live with it!
14. You have long since thrown out the darling dresses and adorable bows you once thought your daughter would wear, since she’ll only wear sweatpants
15. You spend your spare time looking up things like CAPD and NVLD
16. You know what CAPD and NVLD stand for
17. When you tell your child it is time to “brush” you aren’t talking about his teeth
18. Bath time is a
war zone – either your kid is attempting to become one with the water or refuses to get wet all together
19. You talk about “engines” all day long but know nothing about cars
20. If you could just convince your kindergartner to ASK the other kids not to sit too close, you would stop getting calls from his teacher about him pushing, hitting and kicking
21. You are tired of explaining that your child does not have “behavior issues”, but rather sensory issues that affect his behavior
22. You know, unlike most of those “helpful” strangers that give you unsolicited advice, that if you child could do better, he would
23. You have joined SensoryPlanet.com and finally realize you are NOT alone
24. You follow Dr. Lucy Jane Miller’s DSM updates with greater interest than current affairs, movie releases or fashion trends
25. You
STILL haven’t had any time alone
26. You spent more time planning for your child’s 504 meeting (because they don’t qualify for IEP with just SPD), than you did your own wedding
27. You aren’t on Facebook to connect with lost high school friends as you originally intended
28. You wouldn’t tell anyone this, but your 6 year old (or 7, or 8, or …) still sucks a pacifier or his thumb at night to go to sleep
29. You have an ear-marked copy of The Out-of-Sync Child on your nightstand at the ready for late-night epiphanies
30. You dread taking your child to the dentist more than paying your taxes
31. You know that Sensory Diet has nothing to do with eating and is probably the most important ‘diet’ you'll ever do
32. You can name 100 things your child can do for heavy work at school, but are surprised that the teacher can’t remember even one
33. Unlike other kids, your child actually acts better when he has a fever
34. You used to browse the newest bags at Coach.com but now you spend more time “dreaming” over the latest from Southpawenterprises.com
35. You have still yet to come up with a quick response as to what is going on with your child
36. You have quit your job to stay home and take care of your child’s ever-increasing needs (and appointments) even though you can't afford to
37. Your insurance co-pays are more per month than your property taxes
38. You are no longer surprised when your child greets someone by crashing into them full force
39. You hear other women talk about the next Twilight movie, but you are just hoping for a
sequel to Autistic Like: Graham’s Story
40. You beam with pride when your child asks to be squeezed or chooses to swing without being told
