T'was the Night Before an SPD Christmas

T’was the Night Before an SPD Christmas
By Patty, her husband and Hartley


T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The snack packs, arranged on the counter with care,
In hopes, on our journey we’d be well prepared.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Chex Mix danced in their heads;


Ma in her hoodie, and I in my sweats,
were to put away pillows and therapy nets.
When in the back room there arose such a clatter,
I ran at full sprint to see what was the matter.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a puzzled old man buried up to his ears,
(In scooter boards, swings, and small colored spheres.)
Poor devil had brushed ‘gainst our therapy stash,
When it came down around him it made such a crash!


He recovered with grace, so lively and quick,
That I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
"What is all this stuff that you people collect?
Are you Circus performers?”--the old man interjects—
“I came here with toys, for the boys and your girl
But looking around I think ‘what in the world?’


This room that would normally have children’s stuff
Is packed to the gills with equipment enough
To start your own CIA torturing session!
Tell me I’m wrong and you’re not!” (oh good heavens!)


My wife and I snickered and held out our hands,
And reassured Nick we’d had no evil plans.
“Our kids have a condition; they have a hard time—
They yell when it smells and they climb up the blinds.

Thankful for You

It is a tradition in our family to say what you are thankful for during Thanksgiving Dinner.  We go one by one around the table, each of us with our own special memories from the year before, and recount the blessings we have each received.  I rehearse with the boys, as this is probably the only reason they even sit at the table (and will get up the moment it is over), and they come up with amazing lists of things they are thankful for; from football to having their grandparents visit, I am always astounded by their insightful words.

I think about what I am thankful for carefully each year, so I am prepared for the moment my turn comes.  So much so, that often it chokes me up during dinner.  And yet, every year, I still find myself attempting to fight off the incoming tears, to no avail.

This year, like so many others, I have much to be thankful for; my book release and awards, the success of Gabriel's new school, all three kids having great teachers, Matthew's success in preschool, Nick's recongition through receiving Seahawks tickets and a writing award, being able to see good doctors, and great therapists, my husband's job and accomplishments in grad school, the continued support and love of my parents, the amazing connections I made at the SPD Symposium just this month and of course first and foremost having a healthy and happy life.

But this year, I am truly feeling overly-blessed to say that I have each of you joining me along this journey.  For all of you who follow my blog, who visit regularly, or just occasionally, who are new, or are old timers, for those who comment and for those who lurk, I am equally proud to say that you are here with me.  None of us want to be on this journey alone, me included, and each time I read a new comment, or see a new follower, I am grateful to know that not only am I not alone on this journey, I am in GREAT company.

So, this year when I sit at the Thanksgiving table, I am going to start with how thankful I am to have all of you.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your whole family -- may you all have MUCH to be thankful for!

Warmly,
Hartley

Sensational Links

Sensational Links for 8/27/10

She Hates What I Do - Thanks Pal by SPD college student Maggie at Runaway Maggie May:  A great post about her friend's comment that perhaps Maggie was using her ADHD as an "excuse" to make school easier for her. 

The Things We Do For Our Kids by SPD mom Michelle at She's Always Write:  The arrival of the first non-family birthday party invitation -- and the party is at Chuck E. Cheese. 

Two Big Boys by SPD mom Kirsten at No We're Not There Yet:  Reaching the milestone of the last child officially potty trained!

Rollercoaster by SPD mom Jaimee at Our Life With SPD:  A recount of her six year old's meltdowns and challenges during the second week back to school.

Why *This* Makes Us Better

I say all the time that being a special needs mom makes me a better parent for all of my kids. It also makes me a better person. Here is why I think that--no actually, here is why I know that.

I am less judgmental. I used to think I knew it all about parenting—you know—how I “would do it” if it was my kid. How I wouldn’t let my kid ever do that: How in Fred Meyer, I would never let my kid demand candy or how I would NEVER let my kid have a pacifier at age 3 (god forbid older!). Now, when I see parents, doing things that I don’t necessary *understand*, instead of being judgmental, I can realize that maybe, just maybe, those other parents do know what they are doing, and it is me who doesn’t get it. You know, maybe that kid has SPD or Autism and without the pacifier to keep himself calm and organized there a giant fit-- maybe even the parents haven't gotten a diagnosis yet and are worried and concerned every time they leave the house that people like the former me are judging them. Who knows, right?

I am a better problem solver. It is amazing how after six years of teaching problem solving skills, how keenly aware I am of how to solve problems: With my all of my kids, with my friends, with my husband. I am not always great at it—meaning I am still human and can totally miss someone else’s view, but after a few years of Collaborative Problem Solving practice I am for the first time truly able to understand how it is possible to have a win-win solution. That can do wonders for your marriage, and I am really counting on it being helpful for the teenager years, especially with Nick.

I am a better friend. I have learned the true meaning of listening. After so many years of talking to people who flat out didn’t understand my life (at a time that I really didn't either), I have learned that what I wanted from them was to be heard.  I now realize how deeply we all need this -- no matter our problems, knowing that someone truly hears us, gives immeasurable emotional support.  I am now able to recognize this in the words of my friends. So when I say, “My kid had a meltdown today and trashed his room, threatened to kill me and then spent fifteen minutes crying so hard he couldn’t breathe” and my friend says, “Oh, my daughter has her first sleep over on Saturday!” I know now that she too wants the same thing as me—just simply to be heard. And I am actually able to do that for her which in turns, allows her to do it for me.